I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
