she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
