I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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