She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
