I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I AM VODKA MAN
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
