in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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