Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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