I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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