Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My ass is underappreciated
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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