Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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