I think I died a long time ago.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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