His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
