Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Someone shit on the floor
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
