I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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