I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Randomize
