If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
