imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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