I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
