Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
