big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
