The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
