I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
