um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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