nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
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