Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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