Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
