she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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