i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
