my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
