you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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