My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
