What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I have already put on my inside pants.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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