My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
