So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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