Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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