smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We have started to decorate penises.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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