gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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