My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
