Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
