Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
