so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
