Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
