I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
