my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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