he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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