you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
