Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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