If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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