One girl and one boy is just not enough.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
