Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I use my feet as sexual weapons
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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